Corn Nuts
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: Fred has been given the idea that by planting Corn Nuts, he'll end up growing something.


_Disclaimer – I don't own X-Men Evolution._

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Corn Nuts

Lance was extremely bored. One would be when a thunderstorm knocked out the power and no one else was around, seemingly, which was rare in this household. He thought carefully about what they could be doing and decided that he really didn't want to know, as it was probably some crazy idea to bother the X-men with. That meant he would be hearing no end of it from Summers at school.

He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and happened to glance out into the side yard as his glass was almost full. He startled and gaped at what he saw, causing his glass to over fill. He quickly turned off the water and went outside, thankful that it was drizzling. He walked over to a stooped figure sitting on the wet ground. "Freddy… what exactly are you doing? It's cold out here."

"You know how Mystique always complains about the amount of food I eat?" Fred asked, looking at Lance sadly.

"Please tell me she didn't tell you to stay out here in the rain," Lance asked.

"What, no," Fred commented, surprised that Lance would suggest something like that. "Pietro gave me an idea on how to get us more food."

"_Uh-oh_," Lance said to himself, then he speaking up, asking Fred," What was Pietro's idea?"

"He said that I should try growing a Corn Nut tree," Fred commented. He saw Lance's jaw drop. "I'm serious. He gave me a bag of Corn Nuts and told me that I would only be able to get the tree if I sat here and watched it."

"Freddy… do you really believe that it will grow Corn Nuts?" Lance asked, looking skeptically at the ground.

"Duh, it will grow corn and nuts too," Fred commented, quite happy about the whole situation.

"Freddy… you grew up on a farm right?" Lance asked, concerned for the bigger boys sanity.

"Yeah… I told Pietro that Corn grew on stalks, but he said that this was special corn, it would even taste different," Fred commented. "I'm staying out here. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Lance asked, not quite sure about the whole thing.

"I'm sure," the boy said, staring straight at the mound of dirt.

Lance shook his head and went back inside to look for something to read, because with the power outage this was one of the few things he would be able to do. The front bookshelf was filled with Mystique's books, all of which were the dime store romance novel. His bookshelf was filled with only a few books, but he had already read them.

Thus he went upstairs to glance in the other boys' rooms. He grimaced, seeing that Todd had almost all of the Captain Underpants collection. While it was humorous, it was also too childish for his mode right now and he was surprised Mystique hadn't thrown the books out. Looking in Freddy's room, he saw Dr. Seuss books and flashcards filled with words and pictures, which made Lance make a mental note of making more flash cards for Fred… the ones he had were rather limited.

That left Pietro's room, much to Lance's displeasure. While Mystique said the boys had to share things, Pietro was very particular about his things being touched. However, Lance knew he was more likely to find something new to read. He opened the door to Pietro's bedroom and noticed Pietro had all brand new books, none of them read, including '_War and Peace_', those kinds of books, though Lance really didn't care.

Taking '_War and Peace_' and walked down stairs, grabbing a flashlight from the kitchen. He glanced out the window and saw that it was down pouring. Fred was still out there, now getting soaked to the bone with no possibility of getting him to come inside. There was also no way to tell where exactly Todd and Pietro went, except he had an idea it had to do with food, why else would they trick Fred the way they did.

Lance then went out to the garage and looked around for something big enough for what he was planning on doing. He then came across a folded tarp and unfolded it, the plastic crinkling. He pulled the plastic over his head with one hand and with the other tucked a flashlight under his arm so he could carry the book. He then went out the door to where Fred was.

Fred was surprised to find the tarp pulled over him. It was a fairly large tarp and covered both him and Lance. "Why did you do that Lance?"

"I couldn't just leave you out here like this… Mystique would skin me alive," Lance said, sitting down uncomfortably in the grass, which was sopping wet. It was extremely cold out, but he wasn't going to complain. He opened up the book and began to read. He found the words to be rather dull and the plot to be dull to.

"What's you reading?" Fred asked all of a sudden.

Lance let out a sneeze. "A very boring book from Pietro's bookshelf… I grabbed though. I would prefer Moby-Dick."

"Ahh… would you read that book aloud to me," Fred asked.

"Fred… I'm struggling with this." Lance commented.

"What about Moby-Dick?" Fred commented.

"I had to read it for school last year… it was alright, but I'd have to dub it down for you," Lance said.

"Lance…"

"What Freddy," Lance asked, sneezing again.

"You don't seem like a reader… let alone the classics. I don't know anything about those two books except that they're called classics. I thought you wouldn't read stuff like that," Fred commented.

"Yeah… well, I didn't think so either. My teacher didn't believe me that I had read it… even accused me of plagiarizing my paper on it. He was the one who assigned me the book… he gave everyone else easier ones. He did it to _see _me fail," Lance said.

"I have to read _Of Mice and Men _for school," Fred commented. "Would you read it to me? You know I can't read."

"Sh… hold on… they're making you read that book?" Lance said, turning pale.

"Yeah, what's the matter?"

"What the matter is, I'll talk to Mystique for some alternative for you," Lance commented, sneezing again. "There is a character in the book that you would probably relate to… he isn't treated well and dies."

"Oh…" Fred said, still watching the plant. He then heard Lance sneeze. "You know, you don't have to stay here. I can handle the cold… I don't think you can."

"I wouldn't feel right leaving you out here… plus, I said that Mystique would skin me alive," Lance said.

"Wouldn't you rather play video games?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, sure… but there's no power. Plus, Todd and Pietro would hog them if the power was on," Lance said. He then closed the book. "I can't read this…"

"Pietro's going to be mad you read his book," Fred said.

"Considering he has all of those books for looks, he's one to talk. Do you know what I found behind them on the shelf?" Lance said.

"Pornography?" Fred said.

"No… but that wouldn't surprise me. He has other books, Harry Potter for example behind them,"

"Why didn't you grab that one?" Fred commented.

"Because I just grabbed," Lance commented.

"You know, books make for great games," Fred commented.

"What do you mean by that?" Lance said, letting out another sneeze.

"Ganzuntite," Fred commented. "I like pretending to be the characters in the book, that's what."

"I see…" Lance said. "I don't remember ever doing something like that.

It was right about that time that Mystique drove up in the driveway. She noticed the huge tarp in the driveway. She walked over to where the two were and lifted the tarp. "What the hell are you two doing?"

"I'm reading… Fred is waiting for the corn nuts to grow… Pietro told him they would…" Lance said.

"Why do I have the feeling they went somewhere to eat and left Fred out of the whole mess?" Mystique asked.

"Because they would do something like that," Lance commented.

"So… my corn nuts aren't going to give us a tree for food," Fred said.

"No Dukes… it isn't…" Mystique said as Lance let out another sneeze.

"Oh… come on Lance, let's go inside," Fred said.

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Inspired by eating Corn Nuts…


End file.
